Party Like it's 1999

Out. Of. Control.

Yep. Let's end the 'Naughties' being wild. Uhuh. I said to Brad the Tradie..."Hon, tonight let's party like it's 1999."

We're pretty wild when we get going you know. We've both done... well... stuff. I remember quite an inebriated night when the Aussie GST came in...whenever that was. A bourbon and diet coke was five bucks before midnight, five-fifty after. There will be people reading this who were there that night dancing on the tables celebrating (???) the introduction of a new sales tax. We were young. We celebrated everything. Just it being Friday used to be reason enough.

Firstly, Brad the Tradie and I had to remember what we actually did when we saw in the 2000 New Year. The new millenium. We looked at each other with anticipation of sharing memory of a brilliant night. Then, simultaneously, we remembered NYE 1999. Bugger. That was the one when the BHG was three years old and it'd been a really hot day and she'd been a total craphead (as three year olds are want to do on occasion), there'd been copious vomit and we'd managed to get her asleep (Phenergan probably), and then we flopped out the sofabed and watched the fireworks from around the world on the tiny little cheap telly we owned, hoping to God that what was happening outside in our nasty Bogan townhouse-land wouldn't wake her up or make her spew...again. Happy New Millenium honey.

We've had better New Year's Eves. Melbourne, Perth, L.A. 1999 just wasn't our best. How is that night ten years ago? How is it now two thousand and nine? The BHG has gone to a party. Without us. The parting conversation ended with "don't drink too much", to which she rolled her eyes and answered "oh AS IF." Naturally. She doesn't do drugs at the park, dance on tables or let strangers buy her bourbon. The wildest thing she's done recently is stay up past 10pm watching Animal Planet.

We've been packing away ten years worth of crap.

We think we're 'ten year' people. BtT got all sentimental the other arve when packing our photo box (yes, before digital cameras). There was a great pic of him digging up our front garden (nice arse!) and he was... THIRTY. And wearing jeans that no one should own or fit into. There was our big silver birch tree... all... little. Was it ever little? Nah... really? There was BHG in all her glory, wearing that cute size three denim jacket with the leopard print cuffs (yes, when she still let me choose her clothes obviously). Apparently I owned a Nissan Pulsar at some point. A PULSAR!??!!! Good grief!

We, feeling a little boring at not having organised to do anything for NYE 2009 asked a neighbour what he and fam were doing tonight. Nothing apparently. ("Got anymore plums off the tree? The kids really like them and they eat like locusts". "Yeah, we know. Ours does too. Here's some peaches as well. Happy New Year".)

So what about resolutions then?

Yeah, even boring old farts like us can have those, right? And i have time to think it through. BtT is watching a scintillating two hour series on street racing in America. I think the oldies next door have already gone to bed (or died) and I've already finished the DVD I'd allocated for today (Cashmere Mafia... yeah, not bad, only seven episodes though and no real ending... anyway, you can borrow it...) Apparently, something like 99% of people don't keep their resolutions. Pfft. They obviously don't structure them correctly. They want stuff that just isn't do-able, like... exercising and eating right. So, on my terribly exciting NYE 2009, here are my resolutions, in writing, for all to see.

In 2010, I intend to:

1. Let the skin grow back on my feet. It's been nearly a couple of weeks since I last sinned and wore unwearable shoes. Yes, the black ones with the perspex leopard wedge heel. But they looked SO GOOD. And there were like, all those end of school year events in a row. Several pairs of unwearable shoes. Yes i know I could wear boring shoes, but really.... with gold sequins? NO! The scars really aren't that bad if you don't look at them in the direct sunlight.

2. Drink a range of beverages. Yes, i think it's important not to neglect hydration.

That's pretty much it. I'm going to ensure my feet have enough skin on them and drink a lot. Can I have some optional ones? Yes, they're my damn resolutions, so I bloody well will.

In 2010, I would very much like to:

1. Learn to surf. Could actually be possible seeing as though I'll be living near an actual beach. Although, this might be like the year i said I'd like to learn Spanish because we'd booked a 7 day cruise to Mexico. But anyway, I can see myself in one of those... thingies that look cool with Lane Beachley hair hanging fifteen or whatever, on a surfboard. Yes. Definitely.

2. Use anti-wrinkle cream. Just every now and then. If I miss a few days, i'll just slather it on extra thick. Like spack filler.

3. Not buy any Britney Spears or Miley Cyrus albums. Since when do their songs make 'the top 100 songs of the Naughties?' Geezzz!!!

4. Try not to accidently hit myself in the head with my laptop screen. Yes. Really.

So, we all see in another year. At least I'm not at 'that age' where my goal for 2010 is to live to see 2011. Actually, it's 10:30pm and I might not physically see in 2010 if that's OK. It'll be there tomorrow, right?

Getting a bit tired.

Typical really.

I'm never an insomniac when it counts.

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Party like it's 1999, Prince, 1982.