Whip It!

There's a whole lot of cooking goin' on.

It's Christmas, that's why. Christmas - the holiday that celebrates the birth of Santa and consumerism. 'Tis the season to be indulgent. Ever noticed how festively coloured Campari is? Pass the Lindor Balls please. I've got baking to do. I'm going to need my strength.

My particular Christmas faves have mostly been passed down from my mother, who could easily medal in several Olympic cooking events, from the Boiled Pudding Marathon to the 100 metres Trifle Dash (dash of sherry that is...when I make it, it's more like a slosh than a dash). I'm not quite as impressive, and becoming less so with age and agnosticism. Really, is there anything wrong with KFC for Christmas?

Over the years I've collated these little recipe treasures into a cooking scrapbook, dated from 1993 when I obviously had too much time on my hands and got very organised. My penmanship and depth of instruction-writing has deteriorated over the years. What was once 'gradually add teaspoon fulls of castor sugar to fluffy eggwhite mix' for mum's champion pavlova recipe is now 'after you've whipped it, chuck in the sugar and stand back'.

The important thing I've learned about Christmas cooking is that you have to whip it. Whip it good. Whip it REAL good. Which is possibly why I received a Sunbeam mixmaster for my 21st birthday, right about the time my arm was going to fall off from beating batters and mixtures.  So that from afar, I could hear my mother screeching "No... WHIP IT!" when I'd prefer merely to stir or beat the pavlova mix. "Do we have to do a Pav?", I'd say. "EVERYONE likes Pav for Christmas!! It's AUSTRALIAN!!!" Mum (a Dutch immigrant ironically) would say. So, once again, I'd whip it. Whip it good.

My friend, Smurfette of the Outlets, is also an Olympic-standard Christmas cooker. She made miniature puddings for all the  Front Office Ladies at work. She gave her friends a copy of her own self-published cookbook as a gift. It doesn't look like my cookbook, all scribbles copied from my mum's books, photocopies from friends ("OMG! I HAVE to have that recipe!") pasted-in magazine snippets and 'side of the cream cheese box' concoctions. Smurfette's book even has a laminated front cover. AND clip-art.

I love flogging recipes from friends, family and random strangers. This is how you get those great finds. I have the BEST chocolate cake recipe, obtained from a Texan exchange student that came to Gunnedah when I was in Year 10 (circa 1987). She stayed with the Hobbs family across the road from us, and knew how to do things with sour cream. Ahhhhh.... we'd been wondering about that funny smelling stuff! You see, about that time Woolworths came to town, replacing corner grocery stores, and all these new and wonderful food products graced our trolleys. Like sour cream. Texan-girl had a chocolate cake recipe that used sour cream. "Makes it moiiiiiiiiist". A HA!!! So THAT'S what sour cream does! Had the recipe ever since. About that time we also discovered oyster sauce, got an electric wok and stopped making choko relish. Them was exciting times in the North-West.

Reading Smurfette's book got me thinking about some of the recipes i'd put in MY cookbook, Tez's Tasty Treats, if I took out all the ones I'd flogged from other people. You know, my very own creations.

* Woolies Greek Salad-in-a-bag. Very much a family favourite. We even have a designated salad-in-a-bag bowl that we know fits the salad JUST right. You can dress the salad up for company by putting cucumber in it. Genius.

* Mixed-up Plate. This clever creation was invented when the BHG was about five years old and we went through that 'fussy' phase. We'd chuck a tiny morsel of everything we could find onto a plate so she wouldn't whine "How many mouthfuls? I hate this!! I don't want my dinner!" Half a sausage roll, some grapes, crackers and dip, half a cheese toastie, vegemite as dipping sauce. It stuck, and now the Mixed-Up Plate is often known as dinner. You know, kind of like a Mezze plate for Bogans.

* Campari & watermelon slushie. Yep, just as it sounds. Ahh, the delights of the modern blender and its ice-crushing abilities.

This Christmas we're not whipping it.

Brad the Tradie concedes that he might not be a true Aussie in that he can't stand pavlova. What a bloody great sigh of relief that is. This Christmas all he wanted was vegemite on toast, some Jim Beam and to make a dent on the lounge watching a foxtel marathon. Hoorah!!!

This Christmas the BHG is fizzing it.

She got a Soda Stream. All very retro and all. Once upon a time at least one Aussie family in the street had a Soda Stream and the rest of us would all want to 'play at their house', especially if they also had a pool. You'd open a soda stream bottle (remember the glass ones?), close your eyes and it'd almost taste like Fanta.  In 2009, having a Soda Stream is environmentally conscious. Saves fizzy drink packaging waste. Comes in flavours like sugar-free Cranberry Fizz and has additives like guarana and ginseng. You practically get an enviro-medal by using it.

Hmmm... Campari and watermelon Soda stream. Fizz it. Fizz it good...I think I'm onto something there...

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'Whip It' - Devo, 1980.